The Best Coolies Around Are At Chuggie Co.
There’s no doubt in our minds that we’ve got the best coolies on the market. Chuggie Co.’s product line is made to keep your beverage cold and your hands comfortable. Our soft to the touch coolies are made with durable, 3mm neoprene, yet are so flexible in shape that you can throw a few in your glove box on the way to the next party or in your back pocket before you hit up your friend’s barbecue.
Once you take our coolies out for a spin, you will see why they are the best coolies around. We’ve engineered them for efficiency and, sure, we’ve heard that they are less than sophisticated, but we like to think that we have got the best coolies because they are so damn resourceful.
Gaze in wonder at our product, knowing that you won’t need to worry about having full hands again; our coolie comes with two pockets made to keep their cigarettes, lighter, cell phone, or ID in one place. Part of the appeal of these game-changing coolie is that you will be hearing all sorts of things from your obviously very jealous friends.
So buy a few to share with your friends and get ready to hear some of the following reactions about these, the best coolies on the planet.
The “Life Has Changed” Reaction
For some of your friends, life is a party. Chuggie Co.’s beer holders make that life more than just easy and free, but absolutely possible. Once they have a sip of their beer from one of these coolies you’ll be hearing:
- “It’s an item that holds my life.”
- “GAMECHANGER. This is a game changer.”
- “What a time to be alive.”
- “Now I can hold my cigs and beer in one hand? Welcome to the future.”
The “Hot Mess” Reaction
Our beer coolies are more than good looking, their utilitarian in design makes them perfect for those of you who just can’t keep yourselves together. Constantly losing your phone, keys, and cigarettes? Not anymore.
- “Finally, someone understands the struggle”
- “I need one of these for when I fall asleep on the subway. For some reason, people don’t like when you drop a drink all over them.”
- “I’d never lose my stuff… Cuz I never lose my beer! I need this in my life!”
The Self-Indulgent Reaction
We’ve all those friends who are all about their own happiness, not that there is anything wrong with that! In fact, this slightly hedonistic outlook on life is just what makes them SO. DAMN. FUN. Chuggie Co.’s pocketed neoprene coolies are perfect for those friends who are always finding the best parties to crash and the best coolies to bring with them. Reactions from these wild kids range from mild to severe and are sure to impress.
- “I want two! Double fisting has never been this intense.”
- “You’ve never seen breakfast carried this way.”
- “I want this. I know I don’t need it, but I need it.”
- “Oh my God! Why don’t I have this in my hand yet?”
The Analytical Reaction
Our beer coolies are unique for their efficient design and those engineering types among us are more than happy to point this out. We know that a beer coolie with a pocket means less stuff to carry and more fun to be had.
- “I could save so much space in my bra.”
- “So we never lose our cigarettes again while drunk.”
- “I’m buying it as I would love not having to carry your shit anymore.”
The Obvious Reaction
As the type of people who call it like it is, we can say that we’ve mustered all of our redneck brilliance to create these wonders of modern science. Tacky? Maybe. Habit forming? Probably. But, we’re not ashamed. We’ve heard the obvious judgments of our products already!
- “This is a white trash starter pack…”
- “Your koozies are 100% redneck.”
- “This is the ultimate redneck survival kit.”
Our beer coolies are made with your lifestyle in mind, and we are ready to get you out partying with your crew and showing off your excellent tastes. This is the last coolie you will ever need, it’s going to turn heads wherever you take it. We suggest getting your will in place because your family will fight over this when you’re dead.
Wherever you are off to, people will have something to say about Chugie Co.’s creation. Whether their opinions are right or wrong doesn’t matter. You already have everything you need.
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